Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
