We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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