i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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