I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
