Porn is love you can see.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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