I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
