Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
