At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.