I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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