My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
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both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
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she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference