mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
