these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
