just tell him i said nine months
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
