she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
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