and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
