I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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