just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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