Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
