I seem to have left my pride at pride
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
