You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
