They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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