I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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