what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
