your parents love me but you hate me
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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