We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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