At least make sure they are 18
Why
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
