Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm sobbing to NWA
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
