Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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