he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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