He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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