and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
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we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
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A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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