these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
