you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
