He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
