I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
