I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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