im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
so let's talk penis.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize