i just google imaged poop.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
