We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
