Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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