So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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