After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
