dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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