I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
