Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
