I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
