You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
