kristin has been a bad kristin
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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