My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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