wanna go halves on a baby?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
