Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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