I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
