YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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