One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
