Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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