i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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