I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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