so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
