i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
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The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
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The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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