Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
