I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
