Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
