is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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